Confessions of a Supermom

Recently, as I was hanging out with a friend discussing homeschool, another friend piped up and said, "Oh, I could never do that. I am not supermom."  She didn't mean it in a mean or disrespectful way.  In fact, she was very sincere and meant it as a compliment.  It caused me to stop and think--do people perceive me as supermom?

I asked another friend who quickly said, "If I didn't know you as well as I do, and for as long as I have, I would totally think you were supermom and that I could never do all the things you do". Wow.  Guys, I am so NOT a supermom, and I can prove it!  Below is a list of 5 things that completely strip me of any possibility for the title of Supermom.

#1-- I do not homeschool perfectly.  In fact, often times I don't even homeschool well. Yes, my child is learning, but most days  I could do better.  I could do more.  I could teach more creatively. I could teach less creatively and stick to worksheets and drills.  I often struggle to teach certain concepts, and frequently find myself having to relearn something from my own, failed elementary days in order to properly teach my child. Many times we are learning together, even though she may not realize it at the time.   Additionally, people have a misconception of what homeschool really is. The whole point of homeschool is to develop character in your child, and to teach them a love of learning so they can pursue education and learning independently. It is not standing at a chalkboard with a pointer.  While there are frequent victories in our homeschool, there are also daily failures on my part.  And isn't that what all mothers do?  I am not doing anything more extraordinary than what you do. I'm just using a different avenue that has my children with me for longer periods of time. Which leads me right into disqualifier number 2.

#2-- I lack patience.  I lose my temper daily.  I struggle with my tongue and controlling my words when I'm angry.  Just last night when my husband got home I had to confess to him that I needed his help with the kids.  They'd ignored my requests to pick up the 5 toys in the living room even though  I had been asking them repeatedly for 20 minutes.  I was frazzled, tired, and had definitely reached my end-of-the-day rope. Additionally, I had to confess that I was just too angry to discipline them at all.  It was better to keep my mouth shut, my hands busy cooking, and let him speak to them.  Thankfully, I have a sweet and loving husband who simply kissed me, smiled, and went in to speak to the girls. Moments later I heard my oldest running the vacuum (finally!) and toys being carried off to the playroom. Whew.

#3 --I have fear.  I have a child with special medical needs.  We have a large and unique team of doctors ranging from interventional radiologists, to geneticists, to cardiologists and endocrinologists.  She has sensory issues, gravitational insecurity, core instability, a heart defect, growth issues, heat intolerance, lymphatic defects, and a whole host of other problems.  With each passing year, we learn of a new problem or quirk and often our lack of knowledge comes at the expense of our child who has to suffer while we learn.  At times, thoughts of her future can nearly paralyze me with fear.  The older she gets, the more we can expect to medically take on.  There are very few people in my life who even know the full extent of what it means to have a Turner Syndrome child.  I do recognize that I am tremendously blessed to have her, but it doesn't mean I'm a supermom who doesn't worry.  No, quite the opposite.  I do worry.  When push comes to shove though,  I simply put my head and shoulders down and charge through  like a linebacker.  Why?  Because that's what all moms do.  If you're thinking, "I could never do that" you are wrong. You would if you had to, and you'd give it your 100%.  That's not supermom, that's just being Mom.

#4-- I am lazy.  My goodness friends, I am sooooo lazy!  I can already hear some of you in my head saying, "Well of course you stop to take breaks. You're so busy!"  No.  Hear me and hear me well.  Yes, I am busy.  This does not mean I am making the most of and maximizing my time well. My husband will tell you I spend way too much time on the internet.  Time that I could be using to better address the house.  Again, I can hear some of you saying (because it has been said to me before)  "yes, but you make your own bread and Cheeze-It's for crying out loud! That is SO not lazy!"   True. I do.  It's better for my kiddos and it saves us money. Wanna know the truth though? Saving money and providing healthier options are only the minor reasons why I do it.  My primary motivation is pure selfishness. I like to cook so making those homemade items is my pleasure and it's where I find my joy and relaxation. It's not because I'm supermom. It's because it is a personal passion and I find it fun!   If you loved to cook you'd make those things too if they interested you.  Right?  Right. 

#5-- Okay, this is as much confession as it is disqualifier.  I. Am. Gross.  90% of my days are spent in yoga pants and an old Goodwill t-shirt.  Most of you don't see me during the day when I go to the store.  If you do happen to run into me, I'm usually in a hat with my dirty hair hid underneath, no makeup, flour and various other "ucks" on my t-shirt, my Birkenstock sandals with socks on, and my backpack purse that has the outer leather tearing off in layers like the peel of a bad sunburn, and my kids are in whatever outfit met their fancy that day.  I am unshowered, unclean, stinky from working out, and just generally GROSS.  Taking care of myself has been very low on my list of priorities.  I am working in babysteps toward altering that, but for now, looking nice is the lowest priority.  Supermoms don't look gross. They are polished and pulled together.  This is a fact.

So there you have it.  I fail daily in my home and homeschool. I lack patience. I lose control of my tongue and raise my voice and/or lose my temper. I am often fearful of the future and the unknown as well as the inevitable's. I am lazy. I am a slob.  I am NOT supermom.  I am simply Mom.  I am just like you.  You go to a job every day.  You are an expert at what you do, but you got there in stages.  You didn't come in knowing everything, but you did pick up more as time passed.  It is the same for me. I am simply a mom with a slightly different job description than you.  If you were asked to fill a similar position though, I have no doubt that you too would learn the ropes and slowly become stronger in your field.  What matters in life is that you strive to do your best no matter where you are and what you're doing.  Be it in the role of homeschool mom, office clerk,  homemaker with or without your children at home, McDonald's cashier, or whatever job you are currently serving in.  There's no such thing as a supermom.  There's just super Moms, doing what super Moms all over the world do.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Colossians 3:23

 

Get Uncomfortable!

"And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
Luke 10:2

Today is going to be a good day!  Ever have one of those "good day" feelings where you wake up just knowing it's going to be fabulous?  Yep, that's me!  Despite the fact that I was awake until 1am I found myself naturally waking at 7:15 this morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed--ready to go workout. Prayer answered!  That's what I've been praying for. YAY!  I immediately got up and started my DVD and then was shocked when it was over.  The time just flew by AND I was able to finally, for the first time ever, doing all the exercises without a modifier or aid of a chair.  What an amazing feeling!  To really put the icing on on the cake I measured myself and I have lost 6 lbs and 7 1/2 total inches in just under 2 weeks. WHAAAT?!  That's incredible! Go PiYo and Shakeology!

Yesterday was equally wonderful too.  I went with a good friend and our children on a field trip to Compassion International where we learned about what it is like to live as a child in a 3rd world country.  I chose a sweet little girl named Eiti in Bangladesh to sponsor. The money donated by our household will ensure she can go to school, receive extra meals, and medical care as needed. She will also receive the gospel message. She lives in a country and town where it is 83% muslim, 16% hindu, and less than 1% Christian. It felt really good to do something so life changing for someone else and I will be praying for her and her family daily.

After my workout and taking a moment to admire Eiti's photo, I sat down for my morning Bible study.  I am reading in the book of Acts and read chapter 14 this morning.  I've read this chapter and book before, however, this morning something new struck me.  As I read the story of Paul's persecution, and how he was stoned and "supposed for dead" I thought about how passionately he worked to share and spread the gospel of Christ.  So passionately, that he was imprisoned.  He came back and preached anyways.  So passionately that he was beaten. He came back and preached anyways. So passionately that he was stone.  STONED!  Can you imagine the pain of being beat to death, or nearly to death in his case, with rocks and stones?  I wondered if he lost any teeth and then thought about how painful that must have been. I thought about how bruised he must have been. I thought about what it must have felt like to have large rocks thrown at his body with all the force a man can muster.  Can you imagine it?  Imagine how sore. Imagine how tired.  What did he do though?  He got up the very next day and went right back to preaching.  That is some serious perseverance. That is a serious love for Christ and an extreme heart for doing Kingdom work.

This caused me to pause and think--just how much am I doing for God's Kingdom? Sure, I teach at church on Wednesday nights and I sing and play piano, but do I get out there and spread God's word?  Do I go face to face with people and start talking to them about Christ? Do I approach strangers and step completely outside of my comfort zone to make certain that they know who Christ is? Sadly, the answer is "no".  Yes, I share Christ, but only within my comfort zone.

We live in a country where we can share the gospel message without fear of persecution beyond peer pressure.  We don't have to worry about being stoned to death for preaching the way Paul did. We don't have to fear being a Christian the way Eiti will in a muslim and hindu dominated country. People, it's time for us to step outside the box. It's time to get uncomfortable.  Facebook is a great way to share the Good News, but if that's you're only "ministry" then it's time to take it up a notch.  If you don't feel qualified then GET qualified. Read your Bible! Study to show thyself approved!  I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get uncomfortable and make some changes. People are dying. People are dying without knowing Christ. Unacceptable.

 "And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”"
Isaiah 6:8 

 "And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”"
Matthew 4:19 

 "Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together."
John 4:35-36

I pray that today, you find your courage. I pray the Lord consume you with the Holy Spirit to guide your heart, guide your mouth, and guide your actions.  I pray you be used for His Kingdom purposes.  May your today be as wonderful as your tomorrow.

NOW GO GET UNCOMFORTABLE!  :) 

A Crazy Start To An Amazing Week

Today is turning into one of those crazy-running-around-like-a-chicken-with-its-head-cut-off kind of days.  It's not even 9am yet and already very little has gone according to plan.

The morning started off well enough. I got up at 7am and did my 20 minute PiYo workout. My plan was to complete my PiYo, then consider a 20 minute step aerobic workout.  I pushed myself in PiYo though and found that my arms and stomach were very tired.  As I looked at the clock I thought, "Oh well. Perhaps I can squeeze that extra workout in this afternoon.  I should get on with my Bible study for now."  I sat down to read and discovered this morning's chapter was an unusually long one.  I also realized that I am a chapter behind in my reading schedule so I actually had 2 chapters to read.  Bible study took a little longer than planned, but that was okay too.  

After finishing my chapters I began my prayer journal. This is the most peaceful way to start my day and tends to keep me focused.  Without it my day goes completely awry. Just as I was finishing, I looked up to see my 9 year old standing in the doorway.  I knew she was excited about a field trip today with friends and was not surprised to see her awake and bright eyed in her excitement. What I was surprised at  was the condition of her hair.  It looked like a bird's nest.  Anyone who knows my daughter knows that is bad news with her long, thick, curly hair.  I immediately rushed her off to the shower to give her hair a deep conditioning so that we might be able to get a brush through it.  

As we were heading for the shower, it occurred to me that she had no clean clothes--at least not "field trip" clothes.  At the same moment I also remembered last night's conversation with my husband:
Me:             Honey, do you have clean pants for tomorrow?
Honey:        I'm fine. I have a pair I can wear (code for "If you want to put off laundry you can")
Me:             Okay good. It's late and I just remembered that we're out of laundry detergent.
                     I really didn't feel like stay up to make any. I'll do it tomorrow.

We're out of clothes and we have no laundry soap!!!!  I raced to help my daughter wash her hair and then left her to finish up in the shower as I ran to the kitchen to start a pot of boiling water.  I rapidly dug out my recipe, silently thanking the Lord that I recently switched to a detergent that no longer requires a 24 hour sitting period, and began the task of making detergent, choose my scents, and transferring to a bottle for easy dispensing.  I managed to get the load of clothes started with enough time to wash and dry before our friends arrive to pick us up for the field trip.

In the meantime, my 3 year old woke up cranky.  She'd had her first overnight accident and was upset to find herself wet. She didn't understand what had happened and was doubly upset because her allergies have flared up and her nose is runny.  I stripped her wet clothes off, gave instructions to the oldest to help her find fresh clothes, then raced off to the laundry room to finalize my tasks.

After pinning the youngest down for her nose spray, working inch by inch through my oldest daughter's rats, and getting the laundry started (I remembered hubby's pants too!) I took a moment to breathe and think.  What happened to my morning?  What happened to my carefully planned and crafted 3 hour time slot?  I was reminded that our plans are always made Lord willing.  He is truly in control of our day.  This is especially true of mine since I specifically asked Him to take control of my day during my prayer time!  

I can imagine some of you are reading this and scratching your head, wondering what the point is?  Is there a lesson here?  Well of course there is! Just a couple of weeks ago I would have screamed in frustration. I would have freaked out.  I would have been stressed and inadvertently passed that attitude on to my children. Today, however, was different. Even though I had several "OH NO!" moments, I never lost my temper. I never lost control of my tongue.  The prayers I have been praying for self control are slowly become evident in their answers as the Lord works on me.  If you open your eyes, you'll find His lessons are all around you.  His lessons come in the big things, and in the small things. 

My prayers have been for self control.  My prayers have been to become fit and healthy, but to remain humble so that I might bring glory and honor to Him.  My prayers have been to become a better steward with our finances, to have a heart to use our finances for His Kingdom rather than my desire for "stuff", and to also pay off our debt and own our home.  All of this only if it be His will.  


"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:22)  

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." (Mark 11:24) 

 "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" (Luke 11:13) 

 "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." (John 14:13-14) 
 
May the Lord guide you and bless you today. May He give you a heart for Him in all you do. God bless and have a wonderful week!

New Me

Today I woke up feeling "different".  My body felt different. My mind felt different. My spirit felt different.  I quite literally feel like I am shedding off an old life and moving into a new one.  I know that sounds crazy but I really don't have any other words to describe it!  I just felt new and in every sense of the word. When I awoke I instantly noticed the first newness--I was sleeping prone, with my arms stretched wide, and one leg extended up and I was very comfortable. That was a *gasp!* moment for me.  You see, my hip, leg, and knee problems have been so severe, for so long, that I have spent the past 17 years waking with muscle pain and tension.  The position I awoke in was normal for me, however, usually I would have been in more of a crouched position to compensate for my tight hips and certainly not stretched out!  The very fact that I was laying like that, with no pain or discomfort and the realization that I'd had a very good night's rest was quite the moment for me.  This is a result of my week's worth of PiYo workouts, but it's not really about the PiYo. PiYo is responsible for walking me through the strengthening and stretching exercises, but the Lord God is who gets all the credit because He knew exactly what I needed.  I have tried many, many different avenues to obtain relief. I've tried everything from gym memberships, classes, personally customized strengthening routines, massage therapy, chiropractic care, etc.  They all provided some short term relief, but I just know in my heart that this really what I've needed all along and this is a permanent solution.  Thank you Jesus.

After taking a moment to marvel and reflect at my new stretchiness (haha!) I got up and was again flabbergasted to discover that I could easily get out of the bed.  My hips and knees didn't protest or scream in resistance.  I STOOD STRAIGHT UP!   WHHHAAAAAT?!  Where's the shooting knee pain? Where's the aching hips?  Gone!  Needless to say, I was very happy and practically skipped my way through the house as I went to make coffee.  As I stood at the coffee maker the next realization hit.  I don't need it.  I enjoy it, I want it, but I don't need it.  That's a big change from my habits as normally I drink around a pot and a half of black coffee a day.  I thought back to yesterday and remembered the pot I had brewed in the morning prior to co-op.  I drank a cup at home, took a large cup with me, and had one more cup when I got home. The pot I had made was not a full pot, and this morning there was still coffee in it from yesterday.  I no longer have to have coffee to function!  Praise the Lord that's another whispered prayer answered!

My next revelation came in my mood.  As I sat down to my Bible study I realized that my mind was sharp.  I didn't have that hazy morning fog happening. I was awake, alert, and able to focus. Normally I would find myself staring off into space, fatigued and unable to focus while I tried to pull it together long enough to read a chapter.  That was not the case today.  Amazing.  This lack of focus and concentration/fatigue has been another large problem for me and one I've suspected was  rooted in poor nutrition.  My nutritional changes have made an impact.  And that's another praise because up until just over a week ago I had no idea what to do. I'd already tried changing my diet. I'd already tried eating better and pushing the nutrition. I'd been drinking low calorie protein shakes for a couple of years.  Nothing was working.  I am so grateful the Lord showed me exactly what my body needed.  My body needed Shakeology.  I am emphasizing my body because I am not trying to tell everyone to go buy Shakeology.  God knows what I can and cannot eat, and He knows what I will and will not eat. He knows everything about my body from what it is lacking in nutrition, to the specifics of what my cells need to function at their prime ability. God knows that Shakeology contained the minerals and nutrients I was lacking.  Is there something your body is lacking?  I have no answer for you but I can tell you that our mighty Creator does have the answer. Ask Him!   He has truly blessed me through answered prayers.  I just can't say this enough! He'll show you what you need to do.

After taking in all this new information--my body, my muscles, my mind, my nutrition--I had a giant "A-HA" moment.  The dots connected.  I have been praying, and praying, and praying for months that the Lord would specifically help me in two areas.  I have prayed for help getting fit and healthy, and I have prayed for help with my self control.  It was a complete revelation to me to realize that the two are connected.  My self control and moods are connected to my body and my nutrition. My spiritual well being and my mental health are connected to my body and my nutrition.  That has been a piece of the missing puzzle for a great many years.  Again, I feel it necessary to stress that it was a piece to my missing puzzle.  It was a root that needed to be pulled and that had grown so deep that I could not even see it was there.  The Lord has exposed that and now I am armed with knowledge.  I can never go back.  I don't want to go back!

I am looking forward to today's workout.  I am looking forward to eating properly. My heart rejoices that I have learned some self control.  I am certain I still have much to work on, but at least now I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I know in which direction to travel!  Words cannot express how huge this praise report is.  There are no words other than "Thank you God!"

May the Lord open your eyes to whatever your situation may be; be it great or small.  May He answer your prayers, may He speak to your heart, may He guide you throughout the day. 

God bless.

A Work In Progress--That I Am

Yesterday I woke up joyful, and happy.  I was ready to take on the world.  My spirits were high! And then life happened and it 

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I found myself completely out of patience and turning into "raging maniac mom".  Mommas, as much as we all hate to admit it you know what I mean.  That mom who cannot see the forest for the trees. That mom who has decided all toys MUST be picked up RIGHT NOW while homework is simultaneously being done, the toilets are being cleaned, and you pat your head and rub your stomach then rub your head and pat your stomach all at the same time and "you have about 30 seconds to get it done"!   Yes.  I found myself there.  And I felt horrible.  No, I didn't physically harm my children or anything that drastic but was I a shining example to them?  Nope. Not even a little bit.  

About 10 minutes into my fit I realized what I was doing.  I took a deep breath, called my children in, and apologized. I explained what I was really upset about and was then rewarded with kisses and hugs from them.  Truth is, that entire fit came from fear. My youngest was struggling with potty training and we were 26 hours into a battle over bowel movements, or lack thereof as she held it and refused to use the potty.  I was afraid she would wind up with issues like my oldest daughter, who did the same thing only to the extreme and wound up with some pretty serious kidney and bowel issues as a result.  I lacked wisdom.  I wasn't sure how much further to push the issue and at what point I should relent. I was taking my fear and frustration out in a totally unrelated area just so I could feel like I had some sort of control over something--anything. As it turns out, my fears were unfounded.  My sweetpea did eventually use the potty. Potty training complete.  My guilt from my fit, however, was not complete. It was eating away at me as I inwardly kicked myself for being such a poor example to my children.  I mean, really, the only part I left out was throwing myself on the floor and kicking my feet. Epic fail yet again.

During the potty training process I had promised my youngest the moon.  Now it was time to make good on every one of those promises so we hopped in the car and drove to the first of several destinations.  Our first stop was at the local second hand store where my youngest had $4.00 to pick out anything she wanted. She chose a toddler ride-on toy with a handle that I could use to push her and the cost was only $3.00. She was elated.  I gave her the cash and allowed her to pay for it by herself before placing my own items up on the counter.  The cashier, a sweet, grandmother-type lady, began to pleasantly chat as she rang up my items and we discussed why there was a reward taking place. Upon further questioning from her I confirmed that my oldest was also receiving special gifts and treats because she had been such  great help in the potty training process with her little sister.  Then the cashier said something that struck me to the core.  "You're a good mom."  Good mom?  I instantly began to think back just a few hours earlier with my fit.  I was so ashamed I could not even raise my eyes to look at her.  I said, "I don't feel like a good mom. I just had the world's biggest adult temper tantrum. It was awful and I had to apologize to my children." Then she said something that changed the course of the rest of my day. She laughed and said, "Oh, we all do that. Each of us has our days. What's important is that you apologized to your girls. That's a very good example to them and something that should be taught".  Her words were so simple, yet they struck a chord deep in my soul.  I instantly thought of the apostle Paul.

 
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief (1 Timothy 1:15 KJV).

"Of whom I am chief".  Oh buddy and boy-howdy am I!  I feel like Paul--I am chief.  With that said, however, I can say that Paul (originally known as Saul) is my favorite example of being changed from the inside out.  He was a man who slaughtered innocent Christians.  His goal and joy came in arresting those who taught the ways of Christ.  That is where he came from. That is who he was. Who he was.  Once he dedicated his life to Christ he was a changed man.  The Lord changed him from the inside out, and used him in a powerful and mighty way.  And Paul suffered for his faith, and he suffered for his growth.  Perhaps I need to suffer for my growth as well. Perhaps that is why I was so pained yesterday and so torn.  Perhaps the Holy Spirit was working in refinement. I think "yes".  I also think the Lord placed that lovely lady in my path to remind me that I am a work in progress and to just keep persevering.  I leave you this morning with these words:

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality." Romans 12: 9-13

How is your walk in Christ today my friend? If you haven't read your Bible today open it up and take a moment to gain wisdom and insight from the Lord. 

May the Lord bless you with a wonderful day, and may He shower blessings on you and work in your refinement as well.  Praise Him, thank Him, and love Him.

 

The Desire of My Heart: Another Answered Prayer

This morning I sat down and wrote a lengthy blog. I spoke all about my journey toward fitness, where I am at, and how I achieved a victory today.  And then I decided to start all over.  Something about it just didn't feel right.  I saved it and perhaps I will share another day, but for now, I am going to write in the direction I feel the Lord is leading me.

This morning I awoke refreshed and alert.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I feel fabulous.  I feel great physically and emotionally.  This is a huge blessing, and definitely an answer to prayer.  You see, I keep a prayer journal so it is very easy to not only find that I have requested prayer in a certain area, but to also see just how long and fervently I prayed that request.  The prayer for help to "get healthy" has been a long one.  As I looked back through my current journal I found it there in every entry.  I grabbed my previous journal, now filled, and again found the same prayer for many months. "Please help me to get healthy".   I cannot say that I've ever felt alone in my journey, but I can say I have felt a bit lost and without direction. Looking back now though, I see the Lord's hand guiding me through every step of the process.  In February 2014 He helped me to find the strength and courage to quit smoking.  By April I had succeeded.  I steadily gained weight and began pleading for His help to lose weight and get fit and healthy, while working to set my heart and mind on getting fit and healthy for my family and for the Lord so that I might be used for His kingdom.  In August I began exercising and lowering my caloric intake. I found my stamina building for cardiovascular exercise, but no weight loss. In frustration I pleaded with Him again to please help me.  I had become tired, and fatigued, and horribly cranky. It was affecting all aspects of my life and having a grossly negative impact.  I was at a loss and didn't know what to do.  The Lord answered my prayer and this morning I woke up feeling amazing for the first time in as long as I can remember. I am full of energy. My mind is clear. I am not cranky. I feel fantastic!  Right now it is not important what changed in my life to get me to this place.  If you would like to know please post a comment below, or join my Facebook page "Getting Fit With Monica".  For now though, it is not important. The details don't matter. What matters is that God knew this was my answer for my journey and today I am filled with hope and joy. In other words, I cannot know if this the same answer for you. Only the Lord knows.

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know the Lord is with me, helping me in this journey.  Even better, even greater, even more important is that I am confident He will use me for His Kingdom purposes!  If you have a relationship with God, you can understand just how exciting that is.  To know the Lord is going to use you in a powerful way.  It might only be for one person.  That doesn't matter because it's for God so that one person is as important as a million people! Or, it might be for a million people. Who knows?  Either way, it's a great thing.  It's a wonderful thing.  I want to shout to the rooftops "THE LORD HAS ANSWERED MY PRAYER!"  If you do not have a relationship with Christ then you likely think I am completely batty. HAHA!  Trust me though, when you know God, when you really know Him, He becomes your best friend. He becomes your father in every sense of the word. He becomes your confidant. He becomes your guide. He becomes the light of your world, the only One you want to please, the center of your universe.  And when you feel His love, and He answers your prayers so simply and completely you have joy unspeakable.  Unspeakable is true too. I cannot find the words to truly describe what I am feeling.  I could go on and on.  May the Lord bless you, and keep you, and love you, and guide you today.  Focus your heart and mind and soul on Him. Allow Him to direct your every step today.  Thank Him.  God bless.

 Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

1 Peter 1:8  Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

Psalms 28:7  The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Lessons From God: He Cares About the Little Things

Yesterday I was absolutely pumped and excited. It was my rest day with my workout but Monday morning it would be GAME ON! I was ready to try the "Sweat" routine.  I knew it was going to be 36 minutes long instead of my usual 20 minute workout, and much more intense.  FINALLY, I was going to step my exercise up a level and get serious!  And then bedtime came, and everything was a mess.  The girls didn't want to go to sleep. Ellie had a tantrum. Alyssa kept getting out of the bed. Brad began to cough.  You know how it is momma's.  I went to sleep much too late and woke multiple times throughout the night for various reasons. When my alarm went off at 6:55 to get up and work out I was less than excited. I hit snooze a couple of times, and then finally opened my eyes and began to pray.  And wouldn't you know, the Lord answered my prayer.  He whispered, "Wake up, go exercise.  You CAN do this."   

I got dressed, grabbed a glass of water, and turned on the PS3 to play my DVD.  I guess this would be a good time to confess that we've owned this PS3 for 4 years, but I only learned how to navigate it last week when Alyssa showed me how to use it.  Unfortunately this morning, I could not figure out how to get to the menu and the DVD kept playing the wrong workout. Alyssa was sound asleep and I would feel like the worst mom in the world to wake her 2 hours early just to help me with the remote.  In frustration I said, "God! I need help finding the menu!" and before I even finished the menu popped up and I was able to choose the correct workout.  I still have no idea which option controls the menu so I'll have to ask Alyssa, but I did make sure to thank God for answering even the simplest "Help me with the PS3 remote" prayer.  Isn't God great?  Even the little things matter to Him.

Let's rest on that thought for a moment. Even the little things matter.  I have heard from friends time and time again that they do not go to the Lord with the little things. They don't ask for the Lord's help or divine intervention unless it's for something big.  Why?  The Bible tells us to talk to Him; to ask for His help. 

1 Peter 5:7 "casting all our anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."

This does not say "casting your serious fears" or "casting only that which might cause catastrophe".  No. It says casting ALL our anxiety on Him.  Why? Because He cares for you.  

My Bible commentary says this, "This verse partly quotes and partly interprets Psalm 55:22. "Casting" means "to throw something on something" as to throw a blanket on a donkey (Luke 19:35). Christians are to cast all of their discontent, discouragement, despair, and suffering on the Lord, and trust Him for knowing what He's doing with their lives (1 Samuel 1:10-18). Along with submission (verse 5) and humility (verses 5, 6), trust in God is the third attitude necessary for victorious Christian living."

I took a moment to look up Psalm 55:22 which reads, "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."

That is what we should do. Cast ALL our anxiety on Him.  Even if it's just a frustration with the long line at the grocery store.  Even if you're having a bad hair day. Even if it's the silly PS3 remote.  Do you think the Lord was angry with me for that? Do you think He huffed and said, "Monica! I am very busy and these trivial things do not require my time"?  No, of course not! He's the Great God of the Universe!  He created everything we see, feel, and hear out of nothing but His spoken Word.  I think it is well established that He is not incapable of multitasking. He is everywhere at once.  He can handle all requests. No, He did not huff at me. Quite the contrary!  He used this as a lesson to trust in Him.  He used it to lead me to open up my Bible and research the scriptures and what the Word says about trusting in God. He used it to show me how quickly He can, and will, often answer prayer.  He used it as a tool to teach me not to sweat the little things, and not to get worked up over something so trivial. In fact, He responded BEFORE I could get worked up and provided yet another lesson in not sweating the small stuff.  It is not at all ironic that I have been praying for help with my self control, or lack thereof.  This was a small lesson in self control--I did not lose my temper. I did not lose control of my tongue. I did not get angry and walk away.  The Lord answered my prayer, and then used it to teach me.  More than likely, if this happens again with the remote I won't feel so frustrated and will calmly work my way through the issue.  How much you wanna bet that spills over into another area of my life as well?  More than likely it will. That's just the way God works! He is infinitely creative. He cares about your problems--big and small.  He will use anything, and everything, as a lesson but you need to go to Him and ask Him for His help and guidance.

Coincidentally, my body is screaming at me from the awesome and amazing workout. I am so glad the Lord gave me the courage, and strength, self control, and perseverance to get up! I pray the Lord continue helping me with my self control so that I might produce good fruit.  I have asked for help to get healthy, but to remain humble. I have asked that He give me Kingdom Eyes--always looking up toward Him as He guides my every step. I am not afraid to ask and to petition the Lord but always with His will in mind.  I do trust that if I am desiring something that is not within His will, He will gently redirect my heart.  You do the same.  If you haven't spoke to the Lord this morning stop what you're doing right now and talk to Him.  Tell Him your heart's desire and don't be afraid. He already knows your secret thoughts. He knows your heart better than you do!  If you ask Him, He will help you.  Just say "Help me Jesus".  I promise, He is there and listening.

Have a wonderful, blessed day and may the Lord guide and direct your every step. Feel free to post prayer requests or comments. Keep your dialog open with the Lord and enjoy your day.  Persevere my friend!