My day was planned. Every moment, of every hour planned ahead on a schedule, with wiggle room to spare. Sometimes though, God knows otherwise. *giggle* What I encountered was a day where nothing went according to plan, and everything was chaos and disorder! Ever have one of those days, where nothing seems to be going right?
It all began with the morning routine. After my Bible reading I realized I was behind schedule. No problem. I could rearrange the schedule a bit. Homeschool began on time, but I quickly realized that I'd not allotted enough time to complete all the lessons before leaving for Ellie's morning therapy. I decided to just "roll with it", do what we could, and take some of it with us for Alyssa to complete while Ellie was busy with her Physical Therapist. Unfortunately, Alyssa decided to begin her day with a lousy attitude and a rebellious tongue, so lesson plans were temporarily set aside while she did an "extra assignment" of copy work from the board about respecting her mother. :) Still, the day wasn't going too bad. She began to cooperate after her lengthy writing assignment and we soon made our way through Math, History, Bible, and Language Arts. I packed up her Science lesson to take with us and we left for Ellie's therapy.
When we arrived at therapy our situation quickly began to go downhill. The therapist had not arrived yet--our therapy is in a heated pool at a senior center--so I dressed Ellie in her bathing suit and swim diaper, then took her to a set of stairs inside the facility to practice climbing up and down. It's one of her favorite activities and while it raises my blood pressure, it's good for her. After one trip up and down the steps an employee stepped out and asked us to leave the area. She apologized and stated that the elderly were having Yoga class, and there was a problem with the air conditioning so they could not close the doors to the room just outside the stairs. We were disrupting their class. If I'm being completely honest, I was highly annoyed at that moment. I knew Ellie would go into meltdown since she was already tired and needing a nap. I remembered my quiet time this morning though, and felt the Lord whispering to my heart, "It's not about you. This is not an unreasonable request and this lady was very kind in her request for you to leave the area". I made the choice to plant a smile on my face, and not let the ensuing tantrum phase me. Soon after, the therapist arrived and Ellie was taken to the pool area, while Alyssa and I located a quiet place where she could work on her assignment.
The next hour was a scramble to complete the lesson plan in between multiple trips into the pool area to address an obstinate, rebellious, and tired toddler who did not want to follow the rules. We did manage to complete our lesson though, and even had a little fun in the process! For those of you who are local, feel free to ask Alyssa about a few characteristics of mammals or reptiles.
Once pool time was over, we began to run into issues again. As I took Ellie into the locker room to dry her off and change into her clothes, I was surprised to find a large curtain pulled and sectioning off the locker area. More specifically, the large, padded area where I lay Ellie down to put on her diaper and clothing was blocked by the curtain. The same lady who had previously asked me to relocate popped her head in the locker room to inform me that there was a gentleman on the other side of the curtain. We could not use that area of the locker room. Again I began to get annoyed. I thought, "a MAN in the locker room? WHY! Well that's just great. How am I going to get her dried off safely and changed?" This was a problem because the floors are extremely slippery, and Ellie has previously fallen many times in her own pool of dripping water. Again, I felt God whisper to my heart, "You may not know the reason why there is a man in the room, but you need to calm down and work with the current situation". I took a deep breath, chose to let go of the annoyance, and laid Ellie tenderly down on a narrow bench while I reassured her that she wouldn't fall. I managed to get her shorts, diaper, and shoes on but then realized her shirt was missing. It must have fallen out of the bag previously when I changed her into her swimsuit........at the padded area..........behind the curtain. I sent Alyssa into the hallway to double check that it had not fallen out of the bag while we were doing school and then held Ellie while I tried to figure out a plan. A few moments later a nurse appeared from around the curtain, pushing a very elderly, wheelchair-bound man on his way to the pool for therapy. I could almost feel the Lord poking me saying, "See? His nurse couldn't help him dress in the men's dressing room. She needed this room in order to help him, and HE NEEDS this therapy". We were able to access the other side of the room then and found Ellie's shirt right away. I finished dressing her, packed the girls up, and loaded them into the car.
By now my mind was racing ahead. "I need to go to the DMV for Brad's car tags. I need to go to the grocery store to purchase meat for the next 2 weeks so I can plan out the menu. We still have one more science assignment to finish. The house needs to be cleaned. It's Wednesday, that means I have the kids at church to watch. Supper needs to be started early so we can leave on time." Just as I finished ticking off my mental list, both girls announced they were hungry. LUNCH! I quickly referenced my Home Management Planner. Yep, I forgot to schedule in lunch today. *forehead smack* I took a deep breath and decided it was OKAY to alter the plans. Obviously, the girls needed to eat and I was pretty famished myself. Grocery shopping on an empty stomach is a bad idea anyways. We drove home and ran inside to eat a quick lunch. Thirty minutes later we were back in the car and on our way to the DMV. Tick tock, tick tock---I could hear the minutes ticking away. I arrived at the DMV and was discouraged when I took one of the last parking spaces available. There's going to be a wait. Tick tock, tick tock. Again I heard God whisper, "Calm down". I took a deep breath, strapped my protesting, tired toddler into a stroller, and walked inside the DMV to take my place in line. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the line wasn't as long as I'd feared. I sensed trouble though. One employee behind the counter was available, however, as I took my place at the end of the counter (I did not want to presume she was available or ready for me) she began to give me dirty looks. She scowled, looked my way and frowned as she looked back at her printer. She looked at me again and I could almost read her thoughts, "do NOT come over here". Instead of being sinful, prideful, and selfish I chose to extend grace and compassion. It's the last day of the month. She's probably had a very busy day with many cranky customers renewing their tags. Soon after, she shouted, "NEXT!" and I proceeded to her station with both girls in tow. I handed my envelope with registration information to her and began to dig out my checkbook as I said, "I need to renew our car tags please, and I LOVE your new office! It's so spacious! I'll bet it's a relief to have more space to work in isn't it?" The change in her demeanor was instant. She straightened up in her chair, beamed from ear to ear, and said, "Yes it is! We just love it! It's so nice to have this extra room in here". Suddenly, she frowned again and said, "Oh no. Again?" She shook her head and said, "Computer issues. They've been happening all day". Oh! So that's the problem! She's been slammed with customers and dealing with a slow computer all day. I could hear God's voice saying, "See? It's not about you". I smiled and said, "That's okay. I'll just write the check while we wait on it, I didn't have it ready yet anyways". I could visibly see the relief as she thanked me and handed me a stamp to address the check. Moments later the computer corrected and within 5 minutes I was on my way out the door. I loaded the girls in the car, packed the stroller back in the trunk, and drove to the grocery store in hopes of finding the next 15 day's worth of meat on clearance.
When I arrived at the store I grabbed a shopping cart from the cart corral to make the trip inside easier with the girls. Ellie, still in need of a nap, began to scream and protest being placed in a cart. And wouldn't you know, I chose a cart with a broken strap. *sigh* "Perfect", I thought, "I'm going to have to keep a close eye on Ellie so she doesn't try to stand up". (and yes, I know I could have found another cart but often find this particular store has issues with missing buckles) I chose to keep the cart I was using. When I got inside the store I heard that whisper again, this time advising me to sanitize the cart. I stopped in the doorway, grabbed a wipe, and wiped down the handles, sides, and every part of the cart within Ellie's reach. We worked our way to the back of the store where the meat is located, and I went into "scanning mode", looking for those lovely pink stickers that indicate clearance meat. Unfortunately, there was little to choose from. *sigh* This will require Plan B, which is to utilize the Pick 5 option at a different store. I must purchase all the meat today so I can plan out the menu. Tomorrow will involve going to a 3rd grocery store for specific items, and Friday will be the 4th, and final, grocery trip. If I don't have all the meat purchased today, it will be impossible to know how to plan. Past experience has taught me that we will overspend in the budget if we do not plan immediately. As all of this ran through my mind, I turned to check on Ellie. She was chewing on the shopping cart handle. Way to go God, SCORE! Thanks for the head's up on sanitizing! Alyssa and I chanted our mantra, "Feel with your hands, not with your mouth" as I loaded up the few meat items I could use and went to the checkout to pay. I'll spare you the details on the tantrum at the checkout. Ellie versus the Tummy Yummy. Enough said. I did, however, choose to remain calm during the tantrum.
We left to go to grocery store #2 and again, I grabbed a cart from the coral to make the entrance into the store easier. Again, the buckle/strap was missing. Immediately I began to feel annoyed and thought, "What is it with these stores and their shopping carts?!". Again, God whispered to me. "Perhaps they are struggling. Perhaps they cannot afford the expense of new carts. Just get a different cart." I sighed, walked the girls inside and found another cart--this time with a buckle. Immediately Ellie began to scream and do "the plank". Parents, you know what I'm talking about. I wrestled her feet down into the cart, pinned her into place, and buckled her up despite the protests. I did, however, get quite a few dirty looks from the cashiers. *sigh* I also chose to smile at them and whisper, "sorry about that!" and then exited to the back of the store as quickly as possible to address the meat purchases.
As I stood in the meat department mentally ticking off my meal options and meat options, the girls began to fight. Ellie screamed, Alyssa tattled, both girls were out of patience and ready to go home. I finished up as fast as I could, raced to the checkout, and chose to smile and apologize to the cashier while Ellie shouted and demanded gummy bears.
We finally arrived home. Tick tock, tick tock. There's still one more science lesson to finish. I still have to plan out 15 days of a menu and search out the lowest prices in a 20 mile radius. I need to clean the house. God whispered, "Calm down. Do what you can". I decided to begin the menu planning right away since it was highest priority for the household, and told Alyssa she could play until it was time for science class.
Over the next hour I scoured prices, planned out the menu while trying to accommodate my husband's preferences of not having the same meat 2 days in a row, not having the same type of meal 2 days in a row (so we cannot have ham and beans one day and Cream of Chicken Gnocchi Soup the next day. That's "soup" 2 days in a row) and tried to figure out the best options for side items. Don't get me wrong, the husband will gladly eat whatever I serve and generally won't complain. I know his preferences though, and make a choice daily to do my best to accommodate him. The payoff is knowing he's enjoying what I fix, and knowing such a simple act of love makes him happy.
Upon completion of our comprehensive menu, I printed 2 copies. Both pages were barely legible. We ran out of ink. Not only are we unable to complete our science project, but now an unexpected expense for printer ink has hit the budget. *sigh* I threw my hands in the air and decided that I'd had enough, I was taking the rest of the afternoon off. It was in this moment that God reminded me of my Monday prayer which was, "God, please remind me that sometimes I just can't do it all, and guide me when I need to stop. Help me learn to relax and not feel the pressure for perfection. Help me to learn to ask for help. Help me to prioritize. Help me to find what is important in life, and what is not. Help me to grow in You."
So, for now, the house can wait. It's a mess, but I am physically and mentally exhausted. I have no energy to clean right now and want nothing more than a good night's rest, but there's still 4 more hours of responsibilities in the day before rest can come, so I'm spending it at the computer instead. It's okay. Tomorrow is new day, full of even more opportunities to extend grace and make sound, Godly choices in how I will react to the various challenges and circumstances. Even though many things went "wrong", I feel in reality they went absolutely right. God knew I needed to be tested, He knew what was in store for my day, and He was right there reminding me over and over to abide in Him. And really, it's all about choices. We can choose to abide in the Lord, to have an attitude of grace, and compassion, or we can choose to have a poor attitude and live in the sin of pride, because that's really what it all boils down to. Pride is the absence of grace. As I wrap this lengthy post up, I leave you with this morning's scripture:
"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me"
John 15:4
Wow. All I can say is wow. I love how you're listening to yourself and god. I need to learn how to do that. I often have a little voice talking to me and sometimes ignore it xxx
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