Recently, as I was hanging out with a friend discussing homeschool, another friend piped up and said, "Oh, I could never do that. I am not supermom." She didn't mean it in a mean or disrespectful way. In fact, she was very sincere and meant it as a compliment. It caused me to stop and think--do people perceive me as supermom?
I asked another friend who quickly said, "If I didn't know you as well as I do, and for as long as I have, I would totally think you were supermom and that I could never do all the things you do". Wow. Guys, I am so NOT a supermom, and I can prove it! Below is a list of 5 things that completely strip me of any possibility for the title of Supermom.
#1-- I do not homeschool perfectly. In fact, often times I don't even homeschool well. Yes, my child is learning, but most days I could do better. I could do more. I could teach more creatively. I could teach less creatively and stick to worksheets and drills. I often struggle to teach certain concepts, and frequently find myself having to relearn something from my own, failed elementary days in order to properly teach my child. Many times we are learning together, even though she may not realize it at the time. Additionally, people have a misconception of what homeschool really is. The whole point of homeschool is to develop character in your child, and to teach them a love of learning so they can pursue education and learning independently. It is not standing at a chalkboard with a pointer. While there are frequent victories in our homeschool, there are also daily failures on my part. And isn't that what all mothers do? I am not doing anything more extraordinary than what you do. I'm just using a different avenue that has my children with me for longer periods of time. Which leads me right into disqualifier number 2.
#2-- I lack patience. I lose my temper daily. I struggle with my tongue and controlling my words when I'm angry. Just last night when my husband got home I had to confess to him that I needed his help with the kids. They'd ignored my requests to pick up the 5 toys in the living room even though I had been asking them repeatedly for 20 minutes. I was frazzled, tired, and had definitely reached my end-of-the-day rope. Additionally, I had to confess that I was just too angry to discipline them at all. It was better to keep my mouth shut, my hands busy cooking, and let him speak to them. Thankfully, I have a sweet and loving husband who simply kissed me, smiled, and went in to speak to the girls. Moments later I heard my oldest running the vacuum (finally!) and toys being carried off to the playroom. Whew.
#3 --I have fear. I have a child with special medical needs. We have a large and unique team of doctors ranging from interventional radiologists, to geneticists, to cardiologists and endocrinologists. She has sensory issues, gravitational insecurity, core instability, a heart defect, growth issues, heat intolerance, lymphatic defects, and a whole host of other problems. With each passing year, we learn of a new problem or quirk and often our lack of knowledge comes at the expense of our child who has to suffer while we learn. At times, thoughts of her future can nearly paralyze me with fear. The older she gets, the more we can expect to medically take on. There are very few people in my life who even know the full extent of what it means to have a Turner Syndrome child. I do recognize that I am tremendously blessed to have her, but it doesn't mean I'm a supermom who doesn't worry. No, quite the opposite. I do worry. When push comes to shove though, I simply put my head and shoulders down and charge through like a linebacker. Why? Because that's what all moms do. If you're thinking, "I could never do that" you are wrong. You would if you had to, and you'd give it your 100%. That's not supermom, that's just being Mom.
#4-- I am lazy. My goodness friends, I am sooooo lazy! I can already hear some of you in my head saying, "Well of course you stop to take breaks. You're so busy!" No. Hear me and hear me well. Yes, I am busy. This does not mean I am making the most of and maximizing my time well. My husband will tell you I spend way too much time on the internet. Time that I could be using to better address the house. Again, I can hear some of you saying (because it has been said to me before) "yes, but you make your own bread and Cheeze-It's for crying out loud! That is SO not lazy!" True. I do. It's better for my kiddos and it saves us money. Wanna know the truth though? Saving money and providing healthier options are only the minor reasons why I do it. My primary motivation is pure selfishness. I like to cook so making those homemade items is my pleasure and it's where I find my joy and relaxation. It's not because I'm supermom. It's because it is a personal passion and I find it fun! If you loved to cook you'd make those things too if they interested you. Right? Right.
#5-- Okay, this is as much confession as it is disqualifier. I. Am. Gross. 90% of my days are spent in yoga pants and an old Goodwill t-shirt. Most of you don't see me during the day when I go to the store. If you do happen to run into me, I'm usually in a hat with my dirty hair hid underneath, no makeup, flour and various other "ucks" on my t-shirt, my Birkenstock sandals with socks on, and my backpack purse that has the outer leather tearing off in layers like the peel of a bad sunburn, and my kids are in whatever outfit met their fancy that day. I am unshowered, unclean, stinky from working out, and just generally GROSS. Taking care of myself has been very low on my list of priorities. I am working in babysteps toward altering that, but for now, looking nice is the lowest priority. Supermoms don't look gross. They are polished and pulled together. This is a fact.
So there you have it. I fail daily in my home and homeschool. I lack patience. I lose control of my tongue and raise my voice and/or lose my temper. I am often fearful of the future and the unknown as well as the inevitable's. I am lazy. I am a slob. I am NOT supermom. I am simply Mom. I am just like you. You go to a job every day. You are an expert at what you do, but you got there in stages. You didn't come in knowing everything, but you did pick up more as time passed. It is the same for me. I am simply a mom with a slightly different job description than you. If you were asked to fill a similar position though, I have no doubt that you too would learn the ropes and slowly become stronger in your field. What matters in life is that you strive to do your best no matter where you are and what you're doing. Be it in the role of homeschool mom, office clerk, homemaker with or without your children at home, McDonald's cashier, or whatever job you are currently serving in. There's no such thing as a supermom. There's just super Moms, doing what super Moms all over the world do.
